I posted this on my Facebook the other day and given the number of comments, messages in my in-box, and calls, I realize that this one hits home. It turns out I am not alone and every mama I talk to . . . this is us.
Truth is . . . I was BURNT THE F out before COVID.
I was burnt out during Christmas 2019 when a cold caught up with me and had me laid out on the couch on Christmas Day.
I was burnt out at the end of February 2020 after 3 trials. (I pride myself on settling pretty much all of my cases, so 3 in one month is A LOT for me).
I was burnt out from too much work, not enough rest, and looking FORWARD to multiple super fun vacations that I really needed to reset. NEEDED. In Kindergarten, kids learn about the difference of NEEDS versus WANTS. Those vacations weren’t just wants, they were NEEDS.
Then freakin COVID and the political s-storm of 2020. No vacations. No alone time. No way to sneak out for some retail therapy or a spa day. No time for yourself. Always a BIG issue to think about, worry about, research until your eyes and heart are blurry and the weight of it is so much and you end up too weary for any actual action.
Every minute, someone is asking you SOMETHING . . . a butt wiped (yes, still), a glass of water, a spill of frozen blueberries, help with headphones, an opinion, a discussion on do we send them back just for a day, a what’s new with you, what do we do about Halloween, is this ok? Is that ok? What is ok?
If you are a mama and you are NOT burnt out . . . then you have some secret sauce I need in on!!!
What is hitting me especially hard. I had all of these dreams and aspirations for 2020. I had big crazy goals and plans and ideas and . . . I am just too tired to even think about them right now and even remember with clarity what they were! My focus is really merely on survival and feeling GOOD on a day to day basis.
I am going to be dead honest . . . happy pants Wendy is still sad and mourning all of the hopefulness that 2020 began with. Happy pants Wendy is dead tired. Happy pants Wendy is annoyed with herself for not having the stamina to figure out how to really make some kickass lemonade with all these damn lemons. I am not a person who prides myself on being “busy.” I have learned better and I am beyond that. But, I am dead tired from all of the things we cannot escape. And that is the problem. A well-meaning parent or friend may ask you well, can’t you take a rest? A rest? Ha. No. Kids need to be fed and taken care of and read to and put to sleep with love. It is a 24-7 job. This could not be more true with virtual school as well. Work needs to happen as bills need to be paid. Laundry will not do itself. It is the basics. But all the basics are happening around the clock at the same time. Work is home and home is work. Mentally . . . we cannot escape . . .
- The worry of COVID with every sniffle
- The sadness of losing “normal” school
- To feel struggle with regard to each decision
- The news
- The election
- The sadness around the whole world
- The weight of my client’s problems
- How is Halloween going to work? Thanksgiving? Christmas?
- When is this going to be OVER!?? Will the kids go back to school this school year at all?
So, if you want to know the truth, 9 times out of 10, I just want to just go to bed and pull the covers over my head.
How do I get through it? How am I hanging on? Even if it is just by a thread some days. Here are my lifelines.
- There is no try. There is just do. Keep waking up. Stick to the basics and if I have made it through the basics each day = yahoo! Bonus points if no yelling.
- Keep counting my blessings. Keep finding my gratitude in the beautiful that is true! Such as, a major part of my Vision Board was to have more family time, more family togetherness, to quit afterschool care and have more time for my kids. Check! It doesn’t look like how I pictured and it wasn’t on my own terms . . . but it is here and I am so thankful to get a sneak peek of the kiddo’s classrooms and see them actually leaning before my eyes! I am SO thankful for the amazing teachers we were blessed with this year. I thank God every day and tell everyone I know how lucky we are!
- My friends. My friends are my support group. I am lucky enough to have several sets of people who REALLY get me, and listen to me (even though I talk on warp speed), to offer me insight and where I can help in return.
- I always have something to look forward to. A new group I am running, a new challenger to help, a new program, a new mini beginning is always around the corner. We launch a running program this month and I am so excited to commit to running 3 x a week – it has been a long time since I have done that and I am excited for the challenge.
- Eating clean and working out. These are my anchors. The more clean I eat, the more of myself I pour into a workout, I feel SO MUCH BETTER. That is my secret sauce. Does it cure every little thing? No of course not. Does it make the days WAY more bearable – heck YES! Is it scary to start and give up some comforts? Yes. But does it always work? YUP!
So – what is dragging you down? Were you burnt out even before COVID? What do you do to cope? If I can offer you one thing . . . it is number 5! I know how much it helps me. If I know I had a small part in offering you a lifeline too . . . well, that is my lifeline number 6 :). As much as I am TIRED . . . coaching YOU!? Helping you get through the hard and holding your hand? Cheering you on? THAT gives me strength. You ready to pull that trigger? Reach out to me by filling out this form.