Tone Deaf Wendy . . .

So . . . ever since I hit “publish” Monday morning, I have been second guessing my post.  Normally, I share the post, get some quick likes and comments, hear some “me too’s” in my in box, and get some instant validation.  Peeps – that feels SO good.  It is like getting a 25% tip.  

That didn’t happen on Monday. In fact, the crickets were so loud . . . that I deleted my post and reposted, with a different picture . . . hoping the Facebook algorithm was just hiding me.  STILL . . . crickets.  

Why wasn’t anyone reading what I was writing?  Why isn’t anyone picking up what I am putting down?

I started thinking. Ok Wendy, you aren’t reaching people where they need to be reached . . . what’s up?  

Then I got a message from my forever trusty assistant and she asked 

Your new post was very interesting. But if giving up TV in the evenings, where are you making up your time with Kirk? I am sure you have a plan. It was just what I was thinking while I was reading.

I assured her that when I carve out time for the hubs it is more meaningful, that we talk until I fall asleep every night, and when I am more rested, I am my best self and EVERYONE in my family wants that!  (I also cannot wait to feel comfortable in a restaurant again and for someone to watch my kids so we can get back to date nights!)

We discussed this more and then she said:

I am willing to bet that a majority of people can’t fathom not watching TV during a pandemic. I am finding more and more people don’t even have hobbies and are at a complete loss of how to entertain themselves in this pandemic.

Hm.  I get it.  She is right – what the heck is there to DO!??  Where is the gumption to even want to do?  

I was also Marco Polo’ing with an old friend that morning, and she said something similar.  She redirected me to the present day . . . you know all the things going down in Washington, the fact it was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, the inauguration is this week and these events are what (rightfully) has everyone’s attention. 

I mean hello!  We are getting our FIRST EVER female Vice President and she is a woman of color!  THAT is what people are excited about this week! 

Oops.

Big ol’ oops.

I realized my post was tone deaf, had some blind spots, and that me trying to rip away the proverbial security blanket of TV during a pandemic might be sort of an asshole move.  

Ok.  Got it.  Oops.  Again. Excuse me as I slowly tip toe out of the room backwards . . . 

But wait.  

Here is the thing you need to know about ME.  When I am IN something, when I am LOVING something, I want all of my friends to love it too.  

I am also very ALL or nothing.  When I sit down to watch TV, I want to watch ALL the TV, and if I do that for a few nights in a row, I cannot fathom not watching it.  When I am addicted to a show, I am ADDICTED and we watch it until it is done and gone as fast as we can.  

When I eat snacks in front of the TV, it is not just one tiny dark chocolate square (I have a friend that can do this).  It is chocolate, then something salty, then back to chocolate again and it was usually washed down with wine.  I have to fight that habit HARD.  Really really hard.  For me . . . the best answer has been go the F to sleep.

Also . . . CONFESSION!!!  As soon as I posted that post on Monday, Kirk and I sat down to watch another 40 minutes of Hamilton that we had not finished from the weekend and then Tuesday night, I had to fight the urge to not get back on the TV.  I needed Kirk to tell me, Hon, I bet we are going to be up late tomorrow watching the Inauguration Celebration and Speeches. Thanks Hon and off to sleep I went – but if he said yeah sure let’s watch it . . . the will power might not have been there to say “no, I am sticking to my plan!”

I am no unicorn peeps.  I fall on my face. I have GREAT weeks, but I have OOPS weeks as well.

So . . . here is where I am coming from. I wrote Monday’s post like giving up TV is a walk in the park for me.  It isn’t.  I wrote Monday’s post like everyone else should instantly do this too so they could instantly have this better life.  While I do believe that reallocating your time is crucial to finding success, I also get that during a pandemic “success” could be hanging on for dear life and if you have gotten through the day without punching anyone, that is a win.  I wrote that post like I will never stumble again. That’s just not true. I am human. I am going to stumble.

So, I get it.  I get it more than you know.  I was paralyzed for the first 10 months of the pandemic.  I had all of these beautiful dreams and goals and thought this would be THE time to get shit done.  Nope.  

But last week . . . last week was AMAZING. I felt good. I felt rested.  I felt clear.  I lost weight.  I killed my workouts. I got ME time and QUIET time every darn morning.  I am loving the book I am reading (Everything is Figureoutable) and I FEEL so so good and I want you all to feel so so good too.  

I have been on both sides.  So so good may feel hard to get to, but when you are there, it truly FEELS so so much better.  Why wouldn’t I want that for you?!

Ok, this is getting long, so I will leave you with this and I will leave you with my WHY (while I admit I am tone deaf at times, I also admit that I am persistent).  

We, as women, have work to do.  We, as women, have the power and the responsibility to effectuate change in this world.  Especially now.  Especially when we have never seen such a divided country.  We don’t want our kids to grow up in this.  We cannot possibly do this when we are exhausted, burnt out, and giving our good hours away to TV night after night.  Those good hours?  Ask yourself how you can harness them?  If we all did that a little more often, can you imagine the power of good that would come of it?

As set forth by Jen Sincero, in You are a Badass Everyday, “We’re all here to make the world a better place, and we’re no use to anyone, including ourselves, if we’re immobilized by grief.  Think about the massive positive change that could occur in the world if we each did even the tiniest thing to make a difference every single day.” 

She gets it.  Heck, she probably planted the idea in me 2 years ago.  (Reading personal development is no joke – more on that another time).  

I am not telling you to give up the TV forever. I am also not telling you to limit it like I am.  I am not telling you it will be easy.  I am just encouraging you to think about it and be aware.  Ask yourself the hard questions.  If not now, maybe in a few weeks, months, or when this pandemic is finally “over.”  Think about it.  That’s all I ask for now.