I have to admit something.
It is still really really hard and weird that in my adult life, I have overall been a “liked” person. That people actually want to be friends with me. Hang out with me. Be kind to me.
Something you may not know.
I was bullied (hard) in 6th grade. I can easily say that was the worst year in my kid life, perhaps my whole life. I vividly remember every event. The rumors. The loss of friends. The passing of notes. The whispering on the bus. The not so quiet talking about me on the playground. The night when the ringleader bully threatened to beat me up and she got everyone at the roller-skating rink (yes everyone, but the 2 friends I had there with me that Friday night), gathered behind her chanting “[insert her name] gonna knock you out” over and over. I will never ever forget that night. To this day, I don’t actually know how I got through it all. I don’t recall her ever laying a hand on me, but the words cut deep. It was more than awful. This girl had the power to destroy my 6th grade and turn me into a social leper for a year.
But. Somehow. I climbed out of that hole.
I have not climbed out of those scars.
I am still working on feeling “enough.”
Working as a coach, helping others, celebrating others, digging deep into others to show them how incredible they are, has helped to heal the scars, to help make them less visible, to change them from an angry red to a dull pink. To lead a life where I try to radiate positivity, where I try to find the silver lining in every last event, helps more than I can explain.
But still, to be told I am likable, my first response is always “who me!?” To BELIEVE it, deep down, actually hurts.
Why am I writing this? I am writing to the girl who has been through hell and back and struggles still with her self-worth. I am extending her a lifeline to show her it can and will get better no matter what year is your dark year. We all have them. We are all human. And, in the end, we are all likeable. YOU are likable. YOU are worthy of friendship.
In fact, and yes, I am going to talk about God here for a second. We really aren’t allowed NOT to LOVE ourselves, as our pastor ended his sermon with last week. “If God loves me and values me this way, then I need to love me and value me this way.” Hating ourselves is actually a sin. Our identity has been made by God. He made us perfect. He loves us unconditionally. We are given grace. Breathe that in.
You know what I have been telling my kids lately? “God made you perfect and here is why.” Then I list all the awesome things they are:
- He made you silly
- He made you a great pancake maker
- He made you so smart
- He made you good at math
- He made you a good cook
- He made you kind
- He made you loving
- He made you the best big brother
- He made you the best little sister
- He made you love to read
- He made you a great artist
- He made you a great lego builder
- He made you funny
- This list goes on
Today, take a moment, see the world as the world sees you. As God MADE you. If you have kids, look at them. Look at their awesome traits. FEEL your love for them. Now, take that love and realize YOU are loved as much as you love them.
It’s hard, isn’t it?
Keep trying. Keep knowing you are LOVED. Take today and attempt to see you as the world sees you.
One thought on “To the girl that is being bullied: you are loved.”
I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. That was the best writing that I think you’ve ever done. I love you, my daughter. Dad